Freedom lost

 At 14 a move to another town without any consideration for my Mother’s heartfelt opinion and advice broke her spirit. We were a family of 7-children and I observed her incredible sadness from the 1st day she walked in the door to the home my father purchased without consulting her. The spiral down of their marriage ended up in a divorce my senior year and I was devastated at the way I observed how my younger brothers and sisters were suffering being split and barely taken care of. I was unable to go away to college as I had planned because my Mother needed me to care for the younger 2 that lived with her. Lost in the chaos of this at 18, I was seeking answers to what direction I could take and ended up joining the mormon church when I heard “families are forever”

I married in the Salt Lake Temple 1-year later and was required to keep their covenants secret and told at the end of the 5-hours of a live acted presentation that, if I ever betrayed them, I would be in “outer darkness with satan forever! OMG! 22 years of living in fear, guilt, and intimidation!